At the behest request of Captain BJ, I shall also complete the soundtrack of my life game. Of course, because it is necessary for me to do things better than my co-patriots, and, ramble on ad naseum about myself, I will go one better on the ipod shuffle listing. For those of you unaware of the process, the official rules can be found on Billy’s blog (or Willtron’s before him), but I will summarize them as follows:     

1) Obtain listing of life events, much like those found in the standard bio(e)pic

2)      Utilize digital music player to randomize songs in your pirated music collection

3)       Using the order of the shuffled playback, relate life events to songs played in the subsequent order

Now, the standard rules are to just ctrl+c, ctrl+v the songs as they come and display them for all to see. This is all fine and good except that I’ve found most of my friends’ playlists to be littered with the type of unknown and esoteric tunes found only among the ultra-hipster variety. So it’s all fun and games but no one has any idea what the hell makes the songs that came up so poignant or hilarious.

So for you, dear reader, I am willing to add new dimensions to the tired process to enhance your viewing pleasure. Not only will I list out the songs and their applicable life events, but I will also, for the duration of the songs length, type like mad about how the song either applies, doesn’t apply, could possibly apply, or any other funny/interesting/emo anecdote that comes to mind. I will only type for the length of the song and not go back and change anything…you’re going to get pure stream of conscious style writing here… the real radioactive stuff!  If you have no idea what I’m talking about by this point, don’t worry, you’ll catch on quick enough.

Before we begin, I have a few caveats to get out of the way; first, when I say that I won’t go back and change anything, I’m talking bulk of idea. Spelling and grammar will be fixed to make me appear less retarded than I am in real life. Secondly, you’re not supposed to skip songs or lie about which ones came up for whichever event, but I will not consider any Frog Eyes, Stills, old Protest the Hero, new Fiona Apple, or any non-single Jay-z (save Threats), Fugees, or Lauryn Hill….mostly for the reason that they should not be on there anyway. Finally, I warn you all that my itunes shuffle algorithm tends to love Matt Good, Marilyn Manson, and Metallica. They collectively encompass 100 out of 3500 songs, so I have no idea why. Ready? Here we go…

Opening Credits- Ocean Breathes Salty, Modest Mouse

Strange pick for an opening credits song, with its almost break-beat-esque gallop. Regardless, the most quotable line of the song is “you wasted life/why wouldn’t you waste death”…I mean, commonly the opening credit song is like the theme song to the movie, and here MM is already predicting the outcome of my early life. Will my life play out like an art house character driven bog film in the vein of The Station Agent? People just sitting around wasting their lives?

Waking Up- New Slang, The Shins

I honestly couldn’t think of a more applicable wake up song. I can see it now, this is the early musical montage of the film. Showing what my life was like as a child…pretty, happy, care free… this is the Shins in a nutshell. Just put this song on and try not to smile thinking of a young child crawling out of bed and waking up his mom in the morning light. Sitting, eating his bowl of cereal while his feet dangle from the chair, lengths off the kitchen tile, playfully swinging back and forth.

  First Day at School- Olsen Olsen, Sigur Ros

Montage part 2! Dreamy as this song is, when I reminisce about my kindergarten days, this tone comes to mind. Not drugged out dreamy, my waking life, as I remember it now, sings with a whisper, especially this far back. I didn’t know a lot of people (who does?) in kindergarten, and I didn’t make friends easily, but there is an unspoken optimism in every child and I’d have to go this far back to remember it in myself. Quiet and withdrawn without being introverted, wistful without being melodramatic, years of potential within, kindergarten is a Sigur Ros song.

 Falling In Love- Ending Start, Metric

What are the odds that my ‘Falling in Love’ song would be a lament? Nearly a dirge? Considering the first (only?) time ever fell in love turned out the way it did, I guess it’s only fitting. How endings start…with answers…

Fight Song- Miranda That Ghost Just Isn’t Holy Anymore: C. Pisacis (Phra-Men-Ma), The Mars Volta

Opening with one of the most frenetic riffs in my library, the third movement of the longest (and possibly greatest) epic in the vast collection of Mars Volta epics perfectly captures the fight song to the fight I never had. Seriously, I’ve never been a fight outside of a sparring ring and have no desire to. I’ve heard it said before that weary is the life of a man who’s never been in a fight, as he’s never had anything to fight for.  Is a life of meaning dictated by the conflict therein? I would heartily argue the con.

The third act of this movement completely disintegrates to a dreamscape of tuneless panders, most likely the dazed thoughts of mine whilst bleeding on the pavement.

Breaking Up- Last Century Promise, The (International) Noise Conspiracy

It’s tough to relate a political song to a relationship break up, but the Noise Conspiracy is the only band I have ever encountered that could write a song about how they couldn’t love their girl because of an oppressive capitalist society, so in the face of such creativity I am humbled.  The (I)NC often twig on how capitalist society forces people to work jobs they hate, stifling the vibrancy they once had. In any relationship, boredom can be a monstrously destructive force. Complacency has never been a hindrance in my relationships; in fact, I could only hope for such an obstruction…it would speak to any sort of longevity.

Prom- La Cerca, Sparta

I was raised in a certain way/and I think I’ve let you down/so I’ll take my ways and I’ll find a brand new path…I mean, these sound like high school grad mentalities, but they certainly weren’t mine.  Grad was such a given step for me, and I was surrounded by so many positive influences, my only problem was choosing what the hell I was going to do with myself. 10,000 choices imperil one to inactivity…

Life- Elmo, Holly McNarland

I don’t know what to say. This isn’t a life song…oh wait, we hit chorus and Holly screams Where do you fit in? which is pretty applicable to anyone. I mean, that’s life, finding where you fit in. I shall say nothing more for fear of waxing clichéd.

Mental Breakdown- Ease My Mind, Big Wreck

This song has the tone of a whiskey slur in a peanut shell bar. So there you go, ladies and gentlemen, it’s always the ones you least expect…here I come, unabashed alcoholism.

Driving- “You Got a Death Wish Johnny Truant?”, Fall of Troy

This is my exact thought every time I step into a vehicle. Any of you who know me know that my luck behind the wheel of a car, if possible to measure on an integer scale, would factor well into the negatives. The frenetica of this song is probably matched only by the movement of my eyes whilst driving (cut to ECU of protagonist’s eyes)…

FlashBack- Clumsy, Our Lady Peace

Aren’t all pleasant flashbacks accompanied by guilty pleasures of bygone years? This song would inevitably oversee the reminiscence of high school daze, the hallway chatter, the endless summers, crushes, kicks, and smiles.

It should also be noted that the only reason I ever listened to Our Lady Peace, even back in high school whenst my tastes weren’t so acquired, was because of the wonderful CRTC meddling known as “CANCON” whereby each and every radio and video station must play at least 15% Canadian bred content.  This is responsible for Nickelback. This is responsible for Our Lady Peace. But, this is also responsible for Metric, Protest the Hero, Alexisonfire, and k-os. You win some, you lose lots, but I’d rather the few than none.

Getting Back Together- Colorblind, Counting Crows

I can only hope my getting back together can be as beautiful as this song. Nothing to do with racial relations, this elegant number could pull tears from fish (which, as you know, have no tear ducts). This is a rare little number, as it only appeared on the Cruel Intentions movie soundtrack and never on any Counting Crows album, which is criminal (almost as criminal as Talk Show Host never appearing on any Radiohead album). It’s the only Counting Crows I possess, and any who doubt the validity of my fervor for this song, download it yourself, you may be surprised to find yourself a fan.

Wedding- Testify, Rage Against the Machine

It’s only inevitable with the unadulterated mounds of pure power I have on my itunes that something of this nature would show up on the most inopportune moment. Could have been worse…could have been Underoath (or Between the Buried and Me). I guess I can just go by the title and state that if I ever get married, it’ll be in a court house…no churches for this guy.

Who controls the past now controls the future/who controls the present now controls the past…as a side note to those of you illiterate goons, this line was actually lifted from Orwell’s 1984, which de la Rocha often alludes to throughout the Battle of Los Angeles album. It also doesn’t bode too well for the relations of my movie marriage.

 Birth of Child- Heads Up Baby, Femme Fatale

 Screaming incoherence over raucous chaos…sounds like any birth I know of. At least it’s short and sweet.

 Final Battle- How Do, Sneaker Pimps

 My final battle must be with cancer, because this long, drawn out number has epic, spacey qualities to it.  Nearly whispered vocals over a full reverb echo synthesizer riff, this song has the mood of white linen sheets over wrought iron bed frames and cool sunlight spilling over a withered body. It seems all my battles have become quiet struggles within myself.  Don’t worry, we’re nearing the end of this journey.

 Death Scene- New Noise, Refused

 Man, if I must die to any song, this would be the one. Go out with a bang. A five minute, eight second progressive hardcore-punk anthem for the ages. Can I scream? Dancing to all the wrong songs, enjoying all the wrong moves, but hell, I am jaded. Maybe by death I won’t be.

 Interestingly enough, this song comes off an album called The Shape of Punk to Come, which, oddly enough, was right…10 years later…this is what punk aspires to be. This and Good Charlotte.

 End Credits- Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, Black Sabbath

 I actually don’t know this song very well, but I could see the credits to the players in my life’s play scroll by serenaded by the Ozzman.  A fitting exeunt.

 Now I’m sure most of you are thinking that I rigged the songs, but I’m being completely honest when I say this is exactly what came up (save for one of the aforementioned blacklisted songs by Protest the Hero). It’s surprisingly light considering the heavy nature of my collection, but, for the most part, suitably fitting. It also showcases a modicum of my lack of taste.

 As a post script, if I had rigged the songs it would have went something like this:

Opening Credits: I Summon You, Spoon (perfect opener)
Waking Up: New Slang, The Shins (I wouldn’t have known unless I did this thing)
First Day of School: We’re Going to Be Friends, The White Stripes (just too fitting to be passed up due to cliché)
Falling in Love: Untitled, Interpol (the loneliest, most epic of songs. You fall in love alone the first time)
Fight Song: Tip Your Bartender, Glassjaw (Get Tanked anyone?)
Breaking Up: Play Crack the Sky, Brand New (I break up emo…if you didn’t know)
Prom: In Your Eyes, Peter Gabriel (for obvious reasons)
Life: Indifference, Pearl Jam (never give in)
Mental Breakdown: There Could Be Nothing After This, Underoath (everything, everything…)
Driving: Lusty, Lamb (I’ve always liked trip-hop while I drove)
Flashback: And It Stoned Me, Van Morrison (remembering a time I never lived through)
Getting Back Together: Untitled, Trespassers William (it’s only when you realize what you lack)
Wedding: Fade Into You, Mazzy Star (the most beautiful of songs)
Birth of Child: Caught a Lite Sneeze, Tori Amos (if you know the meaning of this song, you’d know I’d be having a girl)
Final Battle: Hexagram, Deftones (has been known to cause listeners’ heads to asplode)
Death Scene: Switching Off, Elbow (I know who I’d be switching off with at this point)
Funeral Song: Pyramid Song, Radiohead (nothing to fear, nothing to doubt)
End Credits: Blue American, Placebo (I wrote this novel just for you)

 Love is suicide

 

Highlights from being on a farm in Davidson for the weekend:

 

   - Shooting guns is fun. Shooting guns while dressed up like a Cletus is even more fun. Shooting guns while dressed up like a Cletus on farm land with targets being cans of Pilsner and old yellow oil jugs is a flippin' riot. Also, saying "bang bang" everytime you hit something is a pleasure only known to me. And everyone else who's done such things.

   - A .22 is quite possibly the pansiest of all guns. I'm pretty sure i could Cobain it with one of those and walk away with a headache.

   - Turkey bacon rules.

   - Everyone from neighbouring farms walks into farm houses pretty much unannounced. This can be disconcerting while you are doing things that you maybe shouldn't be.  Like...ummmmmmmmmm...drinking at 11 AM. (Certainly not me, of course.)

   - Every town in Saskatchewan has its own definition of "booze cruising." They vary wildly and should be clarified before performing. Certainly not by me, of course. Seriously.

   - Ground moose hamburgers (mooseburgers?) are goddamn tasty. Also, the leanest meat i have ever consumed. I made 3 pounds worth of giant patties thinking they would shrink but i was powerful wrong. Pure, unadulterated injections of protein straight to my stomach...oh lord. If Jesus made a burger, it would be a mooseburger.  As a side note, i really am a monster. I eat so much, children and small appliances stop working.  Side side note, whomever came up with the term 'gamey' for describing such meat is a moron. 'Gamey' as a descriptor really should be read: sour with a robust undercurrent of smokeyness. That actually means something. Describing game as gamey is like describing oranges as orangey. To someone who's never consumed oranges this means absolutely nothing. I only use oranges as a hyperbolic descriptive case because they seems to corner the market on retarded descriptors. Lets just call apples reds and plums purples.

   - How to make a friend in a small town: start talking. (seems to apply in dorms as well. With the added bonus of sex. Certainly not me, of course.)

   - My brain has a hard time processing someone telling me about how poor their family was when two breaths earlier they were telling me about how they flew to places in their private plane instead of driving 'because it was just faster.'

   - I need to work on my free-styling. Engineering is so <pause> wack/It makes me want to smoke <pause> crack

   - Point for Curtis. Perfect in every situation.

 

It's still relatively early in the evening while i write this. Tomorrow sees the coming of two horrifying midterms (well, one horrifying...the other merely....imposing) which stirs me to waste time blogging again.  It's been a while, as predicted, since i posted last, but i am nothing if not consistent.

 

The subject(s) of this post exist somewhat as a purging of my art file.  See, i rarely, if ever, finish a piece of art.  Most lie in various states of graphite undress, forever waiting in vain to be finished.  I'm not really sure what it is, but if i walk away from a drawing, i will never sit down again and conclude it. It's like if i didn't finish it the first time, it didn't deserve my full love and respect. Actually, the real reason i don't is because i can't.  When i get in the groove of drawing a piece, i hold my pencil a certain way and have a 'touch' of a certain weight and once i walk away, it's lost.  I've tried going back and adding to an unfinished work but it just blares of oil and water.  The depths too deep and the lights too sharp. 

 

It never really used to be much of a problem, but as the level of detail in my pictures increased by exponential proportions, so in turn did the length of time to completion.  As such, i started drawing pictures that simply segments of portions of features of details of closeups. As a notion of 'art', they were works unto themselves, especially when they focused on subjects of superlative rarity...say...Fiona's lips (Chad, you can post the digi-pic if you have it). But otherwise they were glaring examples of how i can never finish what i start.  Now, with half my art scanned into digital bits and nibbles, waiting for a second shot at tender care and attention, the format has granted me both a boon and hindrance to overcoming this flaw.

 

As boon, the shiny new tools have granted me renewed initiative to revisit the pieces again. As hindrance, the tools offer me another opportunity to half finish a half finished work in an entirely new way, introducing a new level of pathetic-ness previously unseen. I mean, i don't even have an excuse anymore because there is no weight to a mouse click (and, yes, i'm back to a mouse. A tablet tool is for tools on tablets). So here they are; the unfinished works, half coloured, waiting to be finished. I guess by posting them here, i'm essentially expunging my soul of any connection i had to the ideal of completing them when deep down, i knew i probably never would. Enjoy.

 

 

Here is one of the very few pictures of Jiin outside of his stitched leather garb.  Essentially a production design piece, it showcases how Jiin looks just after breaking out of the ungodly containment forced upon him.  Yeah, he looks a little rough, but so would you after being sadistically tortured for 10 years.  I was happy to save this pic from a life of ridicule. See, when i originally drew it, i made his legs way too short. For some reason i looked at the length of his body and decided to try and squish the rest on the page, trading aesthetic appeal for completeness. Unfortunately, it looked either completely rediculous or like was trying to coerce some impossible forced perspective. Regardless, through the magic of Photoshop, i was able to stretch the bottom half of the image making him a solid 9 heads tall. Due to the lack of detail, the stretching is almost invisible, with drawn, swooping lines and a nicely blocked out form. Actually, i thought the added height gave Jiin both a nice imposing frame and extra thinness of emaciation.

 

As for the actual colour job, i was trying out a technique i read about somewhere online, where you colour a block out in black and white, then use the colourize tool in the Hue/Saturation menu to give it life.  The author stated that further manipulation afterwards is necessary because colourize gives deepest saturation to the shadows, rather than the highlights, giving the skin a plastic, dead feel. I actually thought that would be grand for this pic, giving Jiin that "i just had slices of lemon sewn under my skin" look. I added a blue low light/fill light to decrease the temperature of the shadows and increased the contrast to deepen the lines in the face, and Hazza, near-dead Jiin.

 

Unfortunately, it took hours and hours to get that textured look, and as such, i walked away after finishing the neck. Coming back to it a week later, i tried implementing the right shoulder to no avail. Oil and water. So here he stands as just a face. Too bad. Could have been a killer pic.

 

 

Hell Puppy's original name was Neo Rollobot. This means absolutely nothing to you (unless you are Chad. Or Vice), but his origin has roots in the XX-bot mythos.  Back when we were creating Omega Response (the game after NeoMyth but before Ninja Stars...it was the one we spent the most time on), we had grand visions/delusions of grandeur to the viability of our product, so the powers that be (aka- the committed 2/3) at Crestfallen proposed that to ensure our game wouldn't receive an M rating, all enemies had to be robots or of robotic nature. This followed the old skool Nintendo mantra that it's ok that you die as long as you don't bleed. It's ok to beat the hell out of someone as long as they pour sweat. And it's ok to shoot things as long as they aren't living. I mean, it made sense not to want an M rating, as there was some chart in some book from some author stating how an M rating would restrict the audience, and therefore sales and hence, saleability of the product. Oh how the times have changed.

 

Regardless, i created a giant collection of robotic baddies ripe to eat lead and spew gasoline all with preliminary names based on either their appearance, function, or (non)hilarious in-joke, all with the suffix 'bot'. There was Polarbot (appearance), gruntobot (function), and grantobot (hilarious in-joke) among others, but the first pic ever modelled was a spider-like robot with two legs dubbed 'rollobot' for his ability to bundle up into a ball and roll at the player. Anyway, very long story shorter, Omega Response failed horribly with the critics (our loving  friends and family members), especially the aesthetic of the robot enemies. They had garish colours and metal panels that screamed "I don't fit with anything!" so Chad sort of told me to maybe look into drawing up more hardcore (read: gothmaster) incarnations of each baddy that would follow the mechanics already laid out for each 'bot.

 

So i drew up this thing. Three legs. No head. Some swinging blade-thing floppin' about in front. Honestly, the stress must have been getting to me because this thing is wack. Regardless, i loved this little beast. Unfortunately, in the scant week it took me to redo all the baddies, Crestfallen went through one of its many upheavals and the entire project was scrapped (good-bye 2 years of evenings and weekends).

 

Looking for something to spend some serious time with i grabbed this pic and started colouring him up. He came together really quick, so i started colour manipulating him early and he exists at this point as you see him.

 

Truthfully, i did up this pic a couple of days ago, so i may still do some more. But i doubt it.

 

 

This is a minorly altered version of the horrible colour job i did on this pic. I've posted it only as further evidence to my abandonment of her.

 

I shall say no more. Please excuse me while i weep.

 

 

I spent a lot of time with this picture. Now, to be sure, Spawn is, honestly, the lamest superhero of all time, but there was a fairly lengthy period of my life where i thought everything Todd McFarlane did was solid gold regardless of its quality (or lack thereof), so i both originally drew this picture and coloured it up as more of an homage to that time period than of the character itself. There are an ungodly amount of layers at work here, slowly laying on colour after colour, building depth and detail.  I really tried to keep the level of detail high here, without overworking the image and i only kind of succeeded.  Some of the original detail in the drawing i'm pretty sure i added simply for the sake of filling space and it kind of made colouring this difficult.

 

I tried a few different subtle techniques on this drawing that were relatively successfull, and i'll probably implement them in some other drawings. I kept the highlights of the lines between the details really bright, which creates a craggy nature on his face. Added to this, i applied a spackle-like layer of green around the bumpier parts giving texture and resonance to the skin surface. It looks good, but sometimes i get the feeling i may have over worked it, as his face sometimes resembles a coral reef. Some of the jutting pieces have incredible contrast, giving them a sharp, angular appearance.

 

Regardless, he looks good both close and far and i may finish him in the future.

 

But probably not.

 

 

This is the Xu pic i posted about over half a year ago. I've not worked on it since and probably never will.

 

There are portions of this picture that i really do love. This was the first, and probably best, time i ever implemented a fill/low light. It probably has more to do with the underlying pencil composition, but it just works like it never has since. The musculature just pops on Xu and it really adds an awesome dynamic to the image. Additionally, the cape colour job is something i'm really proud of. I did the blue trim in Illustrator to keep the lines perfect and applied it in Photoshop and added the texture.  The colours on the bottom side of the cape have a unbelievably subtle glow that came about in the colour balancing of the image, and i've used the macro in pretty well every picture since.

 

As i type about it now, i'm beginning to realize that i probably love this image so much because i learned the most on it, and have successfully implemented the techniques i learned on it on the most pictures. You can see the fill/low light additions on the Jiin and Hell Puppy pics and the glow is heavily prevalent on the Ashley pic from last posting.

 

Regardless, this one i know i will never finish mainly because the hair colouring would be a nightmare i would never want to even attempt.

 

But i will forever remember it.

 

Even if i could never commit.

It's been a long time since i've blogged. I apologize, but since the last posting I've made it through finals, Jesusmas, and , of course, a couple of digital pictures.  I should get this out of the way right now, this semester is going to be hell. Don't expect the frequency of postings to increase or even bear any resemblance to consistency ( aka- a whole lot of jitter....>ack< see(!), it infects already!).  Regardless, i'll try to keep something coming at least once a month. God knows 99% of you have already seen the art and don' t read the words anyway. And on that note, onto the pics!

 

 

There is so much to say about this picture that i don't even know where to start.  First off, I never expected to actually colour this pic. The original pencils were in my 'infinitesimal detail and 5 million degrees of tone' style of drawing which doesn't translate well into digital art.  The only other picture originally drawn in this style that i've coloured was the Beast. For him, i just framed out the shading blocks and colourized them. It looked good on that picture because, for the most part, the Beast is white.  Such processes would render this picture rather bland so another approach was necessary.

 

Basically, i painted Ashley the same way i did any other standard digital picture.  I wanted to keep the picture soft so i used a circular brush at 45% hardness. I didn't go all the way soft because pictures tend to look overly gradient-y and doughy with very soft brushes. By maintaining some semblance of hardness, the picture has punch but the lighting still creates a glow.  Ahhhhh, the glow.  The glow was created for two reasons: First, if you look at the original pencils you'll see that i never finished the drawing before scanning it (well, actually, it still resides in this state). As such, i needed to find some way of working the unfinished bits into the drawing. A low contrast picture with plenty of whites creates the illusion that the washed out parts are bathed in light, a lot like the effect your eyes give your brain when you wake up to an overly sunny white room.  Since i always (always always always) put a light source from the upper left, this worked well with filling in the reason for the hair not being filled in.  Reason number two was that i wanted it to look like you were looking at her after waking up in an overly sunny white room.  To complete the radiosity-like light bouncing, i kept the palette narrow, putting hair colour on the skin, eyes, and lips and vice versa.

 

The rest of the development of the picture is basic layers of brushes over and over, pounding layers down and adding more layers. Kick up the colours with oranges, harshen the contrast and pound down some more.  I spent a lot of time on the eye 'makeup'.  I normally have huge difficulties putting makeup on my female pictures because they always come out looking like whores. I mean, i know the basic principles of makeup application (if you can tell there's makeup, there's too much on...yadda yadda), but it just seems if you want to add some colour, it really cheapens your girls. So i basically kept the minimum amount of colour here, working with deeper fleshtones, which could either be cast shadows or makeup, either way, it deepened the eyes.  Interestingly, i've actually intently watched girls put on makeup solely for the knowledge of doing pictures and i've been amazed. I mean, girls who can hardly draw stick figures expertly mixing colours and toning effortlessly on their faces. And here i am, like a 5 year old with crayons makin' the girls purty. Bizarre.  In the end, i sent the pic to a few girls and got back some responses that the makeup around the eyes was too heavy, still.  I don't really see it, but if so, what the hell, she must be a mother truckin' rock st*r.

 

For final touchups, i added highlights to the hair and freckles. Yes, freckles. I actually spent about an hour getting the freckles looking just right.  It seems every time the freckles subject comes up i get kinda accused of over-sexualizing this picture.  Conversations like this:

    "Yeah, i think the freckles look really good."

    "That's because you are a pervert."

And yeah, i can kind of understand the accusations (of over-sexualizing this picture, not of being a pervert).  I mean, beyond the colour scheme, which suggests that early morning glow, there's the extreme close-up nature of the framing (which means you would be looking at her really close), the EXTREMELY dialated pupils (which suggests love or arousal - it's true!) and the look in her eyes, which i still have yet to put my finger on.  I mean, i drew it, to be sure, but i'm not sure the intent in the look.  There's a sadness in there somewhere, but that's not the presiding emotion. Anyway, yeah, the freckles add it too, but i'll need someone out there to explain that one to me.

 

The original pencils were drawn in a style based off of an amazing japanese illustrator named Ayami Kojima. She does amazingly effeminate and delicate illustrations, though the more i look into her work, i find she is a HARD-core gothmaster. Like, the sweetest art ever airbrushed on the side of a van type of gothmaster. Angels with half skull faces and dragons flying from swords type of crap. Regardless, she does amazingly quality work, and you should look her up.

 

Finally, i should probably explain where the name 'Ashley' came from. It's sort of embarrassing, but whenever i draw the picture of anything or anyone, different segments are inherently based off of my own real life observations, even if i don't mean to.  Sadly, whenever i draw a picture of a girl out of my head, she inevitably looks much like one of my friends' girlfriends, past or present. I don't try to, they just come out that way. So, yeah, this is Ashley.

 

Just think, someday your girlfriend too will be the subject for one of my drawings. Don't worry, it's just a symptom of the neuroses.